Trust?

Trust is an emotional act. It is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Trust. The foundation for relationships. It takes years to build, seconds to destroy. Throughout life, a person gives one’s trust to the people she cares about. Betrayal. An act of disloyalty. In an instant, everything that was built on that mutual trust can be broken. It will all come crumbling down with one mistake. One act of betrayal.

I don’t trust people easily. I don’t let in people easily. I don’t get comfortable with people simply. It takes time. I’m like an onion who needs to be peeled one skin at a time. I don’t let my guard down effortlessly. Family or friends, it’s all the same. I am scared. People scare me. Every time, I have let my guard down I’ve regretted it. But still, I’ve been open to trusting people no matter how many times I’ve been betrayed. Takes time, but I get there.

Recently, in last few days a lot of stuff has happened. It has made me question “Should I stop trusting people?” “Should I stop letting my guard down?”. My trust has been broken, I feel cheated on and betrayed. I am confused.

How does a person end up disappointing the people that love her/him? All the memories I have shared with this human have been flashing in front of my eyes for days now. I might be sitting with my friends or doing nothing when suddenly I would have flashbacks of all the good times I had with this person. All the happy times and smiles shared. IT HURTS. IT HURTS SO FREAKING MUCH. The pain is unbearable. I can’t believe I put in so much of trust into this human. I can’t believe all the good times I have had with this person are now just going to be painful memories. I fail to understand how people do this. How do they manage to break someone’s trust?  HOW? WHY?

The person is now gone from my life or will go away from my life soon enough. But all I am left with is good memories that are going to be painful. Thoughts about this person. A part of me feels lost. confused.  I have these emotions inside of me that don’t know what to do. There are all these things I want to ask this human. I don’t know how I’ll let go of this human and the memories.

People don’t understand. When you break someone’s trust or lie to them, you’re damaging them. They won’t trust anyone or have a tough time trusting anyone in future. Getting close to someone would scare them. Nothing would remain the same. Don’t play with someone’s emotions no matter how harsh the truth is. Just say it.

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“Don’t forget to remember, if you’re not smiling you’re doing it wrong”- Alex Wassabi

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